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I Was Told There'd Be Cake: Essays

I Was Told There'd Be Cake

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28,873 ratings · 8,763 reviews
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I Was Told There'd Be Cake: Essays

I Was Told There'd Be Cake

4.85 28,873 ratings · 8,763 reviews
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Overview: From the author of the novel, The Clasp, hailed by Michael Chabon, Heidi Julavits, and J. Courtney Sullivan. Wry, hilarious, and profoundly genuine, this debut collection of literary essays from Sloane Crosley is a celebration of fallibility and haplessness in all their glory.From despoiling an exhibit at the Natural History Museum to provoking the ire of her first boss to siccing the cops on her mysterious neighbor, Crosley can do no right despite the best of intentions -- or perhaps because of them. Together, these essays create a startlingly funny and revealing portrait of a complex and utterly recognizable character who aims for the stars but hits the ceiling, and the inimitable city that has helped shape who she is. I Was Told There'd Be Cake introduces a strikingly original voice, chronicling the struggles and unexpected beauty of modern urban life.The pony problem --Christmas in July --The ursula cookie --Bring your machete to work day --The good people of this dimension --Bastard out of Westchester --The beauty of strangers --Fuck you, Columbus --One-night bounce --Sign language for infidels --You on a stick --Height of luxury --Smell this --Lay like broccoli --Fever faker

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Topics & Genres

Pages 230
Language Eng
Published April 1, 2008
ISBN 2195289
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Sloane Crosley
About the Author
Sloane Crosley
17,192 Followers

Sloane Crosley is the author of several novels. Originally from the East Coast, they now live in the Midwest with family. In addition to writing, Sloane Crosley enjoys gardening, cooking, and reading way past bedtime. Their work often explores the complexities of everyday life and human relationships.

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Richard Adams
Richard Adams August 10, 2024
I was completely blown away. I became deeply invested in the protagonist's journey. A masterclass in storytelling. I am now a lifelong fan of this author.
Susan Garcia
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Took a moment to build, but the payoff was spectacular. A brilliant concept executed with flair. Just a few pacing choices I would change. I would highly recommend this to discerning readers.
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Masterpiece from start to finish. The author orchestrated a breathtaking finale. Truly a work of art. Worth every moment spent reading.
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Masterpiece from start to finish. The prose is exquisite. It’s accessible yet undeniably sophisticated. I will undoubtedly revisit this masterpiece.
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Masterpiece from start to finish. The prose is exquisite. It’s accessible yet undeniably sophisticated. An effortless 5 stars.
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Honestly one of the most premium reading experiences lately. The author orchestrated a breathtaking finale. Truly a work of art. I am now a lifelong fan of this author.
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Honestly one of the most premium reading experiences lately. I adored how the story unfolded. It kept me captivated without sacrificing elegance. A true literary gem.
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A profoundly satisfying read. The pacing was impeccable and the characters felt incredibly authentic. I was completely immersed. I will undoubtedly revisit this masterpiece.
Donna Garcia
Donna Garcia September 03, 2024
Honestly one of the most premium reading experiences lately. The author orchestrated a breathtaking finale. Truly a work of art. An effortless 5 stars.
John Lee
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Exceeded all my expectations. I became deeply invested in the protagonist's journey. A masterclass in storytelling. An effortless 5 stars.
Jacob Carter
Jacob Carter November 21, 2025
I thoroughly enjoyed the elegance of it. The middle had a deliberate pace, but the climax was phenomenal. A wonderful companion for a quiet weekend.
Dorothy Edwards
Dorothy Edwards August 09, 2024
I thoroughly enjoyed the elegance of it. The protagonist was compelling, though some subplots felt slightly overshadowed. A solid 4 stars from me.
Sharon Thompson
Sharon Thompson November 12, 2025
Masterpiece from start to finish. I became deeply invested in the protagonist's journey. A masterclass in storytelling. An effortless 5 stars.
Stephanie Harris
Stephanie Harris November 16, 2024
I thoroughly enjoyed the elegance of it. A brilliant concept executed with flair. Just a few pacing choices I would change. I would highly recommend this to discerning readers.
Gary Torres
Gary Torres July 22, 2024
I was completely blown away. I became deeply invested in the protagonist's journey. A masterclass in storytelling. A true literary gem.
Edward Diaz
Edward Diaz October 10, 2025
Absolutely brilliant. The prose is exquisite. It’s accessible yet undeniably sophisticated. An absolute must-read for connoisseurs of the genre.
Linda Mitchell
Linda Mitchell June 26, 2025
A highly sophisticated read. A brilliant concept executed with flair. Just a few pacing choices I would change. I would highly recommend this to discerning readers.
Stephanie Reyes
Stephanie Reyes February 19, 2024
I find myself somewhat conflicted. The prose was competent, yet the characters lacked the depth I usually seek. Suitable if your reading queue is empty.
Joseph Jones
Joseph Jones January 16, 2024
Such a rich narrative. It strikes a perfect harmony of dialogue and world-building. Every chapter felt necessary. Worth every moment spent reading.
Barbara Lee
Barbara Lee January 10, 2024
I was completely blown away. I adored how the story unfolded. It kept me captivated without sacrificing elegance. I will undoubtedly revisit this masterpiece.
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Lisa Perez October 27, 2025
Honestly one of the most premium reading experiences lately. I adored how the story unfolded. It kept me captivated without sacrificing elegance. An absolute must-read for connoisseurs of the genre.
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Sandra Garcia December 07, 2024
Honestly one of the most premium reading experiences lately. I adored how the story unfolded. It kept me captivated without sacrificing elegance. Worth every moment spent reading.
Donald Hernandez
Donald Hernandez July 03, 2024
Excellent, though slightly flawed. The protagonist was compelling, though some subplots felt slightly overshadowed. A wonderful companion for a quiet weekend.
Mary Perez
Mary Perez July 08, 2025
A profoundly satisfying read. The author orchestrated a breathtaking finale. Truly a work of art. An effortless 5 stars.
Steven Gonzalez
Steven Gonzalez April 17, 2024
Exceeded all my expectations. I adored how the story unfolded. It kept me captivated without sacrificing elegance. I will undoubtedly revisit this masterpiece.
Paul Young
Paul Young January 15, 2024
Absolutely brilliant. The prose is exquisite. It’s accessible yet undeniably sophisticated. I will undoubtedly revisit this masterpiece.
Christopher Phillips
Christopher Phillips December 06, 2025
Honestly one of the most premium reading experiences lately. The prose is exquisite. It’s accessible yet undeniably sophisticated. Worth every moment spent reading.
Donald Cruz
Donald Cruz February 25, 2024
Excellent, though slightly flawed. The middle had a deliberate pace, but the climax was phenomenal. A very distinguished novel.
Betty Miller
Betty Miller February 14, 2025
Absolutely brilliant. The author orchestrated a breathtaking finale. Truly a work of art. I will undoubtedly revisit this masterpiece.
Paul Torres
Paul Torres February 14, 2024
A highly sophisticated read. The middle had a deliberate pace, but the climax was phenomenal. A solid 4 stars from me.
Sarah Mitchell
Sarah Mitchell April 11, 2024
Honestly one of the most premium reading experiences lately. The prose is exquisite. It’s accessible yet undeniably sophisticated. Worth every moment spent reading.
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Sandra White June 03, 2024
A highly sophisticated read. The middle had a deliberate pace, but the climax was phenomenal. I would highly recommend this to discerning readers.
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Excellent, though slightly flawed. Beautiful writing, though I craved slightly more depth in the lore. Still, undeniably engaging. A very distinguished novel.
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Kenneth Evans September 03, 2025
Masterpiece from start to finish. The author orchestrated a breathtaking finale. Truly a work of art. I will undoubtedly revisit this masterpiece.
Gary Campbell
Gary Campbell July 12, 2024
I was completely blown away. I became deeply invested in the protagonist's journey. A masterclass in storytelling. I will undoubtedly revisit this masterpiece.
Steven Gomez
Steven Gomez October 02, 2024
Such a rich narrative. The author orchestrated a breathtaking finale. Truly a work of art. I am now a lifelong fan of this author.
Matthew  Parker
Matthew Parker November 04, 2024
Masterpiece from start to finish. It strikes a perfect harmony of dialogue and world-building. Every chapter felt necessary. I am now a lifelong fan of this author.
David Jackson
David Jackson August 02, 2025
A very strong entry. The protagonist was compelling, though some subplots felt slightly overshadowed. Quite impressive overall.
Susan Evans
Susan Evans September 30, 2024
I was completely blown away. The prose is exquisite. It’s accessible yet undeniably sophisticated. An effortless 5 stars.
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Susan Gonzalez March 01, 2024
Masterpiece from start to finish. The pacing was impeccable and the characters felt incredibly authentic. I was completely immersed. I am now a lifelong fan of this author.
Susan Rivera
Susan Rivera August 27, 2024
Such a rich narrative. I became deeply invested in the protagonist's journey. A masterclass in storytelling. An absolute must-read for connoisseurs of the genre.
Jessica Martinez
Jessica Martinez February 12, 2024
Absolutely brilliant. The author orchestrated a breathtaking finale. Truly a work of art. An effortless 5 stars.
Carol Garcia
Carol Garcia January 31, 2025
I thoroughly enjoyed the elegance of it. The protagonist was compelling, though some subplots felt slightly overshadowed. I would highly recommend this to discerning readers.
Elizabeth Lewis
Elizabeth Lewis May 28, 2025
Took a moment to build, but the payoff was spectacular. The middle had a deliberate pace, but the climax was phenomenal. I would highly recommend this to discerning readers.
Melissa Adams
Melissa Adams October 28, 2025
A profoundly satisfying read. The prose is exquisite. It’s accessible yet undeniably sophisticated. Worth every moment spent reading.
Melissa Thompson
Melissa Thompson May 24, 2025
A highly sophisticated read. Beautiful writing, though I craved slightly more depth in the lore. Still, undeniably engaging. A very distinguished novel.
Stephanie Turner
Stephanie Turner December 29, 2025
Such a rich narrative. The author orchestrated a breathtaking finale. Truly a work of art. An effortless 5 stars.
Jessica Hill
Jessica Hill August 27, 2024
I was completely blown away. The author orchestrated a breathtaking finale. Truly a work of art. An effortless 5 stars.
George Clark
George Clark February 12, 2024
Such a rich narrative. I adored how the story unfolded. It kept me captivated without sacrificing elegance. An effortless 5 stars.
William Perez
William Perez April 02, 2024
A highly sophisticated read. Beautiful writing, though I craved slightly more depth in the lore. Still, undeniably engaging. A wonderful companion for a quiet weekend.
Cynthia King
Cynthia King June 23, 2024
A very strong entry. The middle had a deliberate pace, but the climax was phenomenal. I would highly recommend this to discerning readers.
Melissa Nelson
Melissa Nelson September 22, 2025
Absolutely brilliant. I became deeply invested in the protagonist's journey. A masterclass in storytelling. I am now a lifelong fan of this author.
Richard Walker
Richard Walker November 15, 2025
Masterpiece from start to finish. The prose is exquisite. It’s accessible yet undeniably sophisticated. I will undoubtedly revisit this masterpiece.
Deborah Anderson
Deborah Anderson February 03, 2024
Took a moment to build, but the payoff was spectacular. The protagonist was compelling, though some subplots felt slightly overshadowed. A solid 4 stars from me.
Anthony Torres
Anthony Torres September 17, 2024
Absolutely brilliant. The pacing was impeccable and the characters felt incredibly authentic. I was completely immersed. An effortless 5 stars.
Sarah Mitchell
Sarah Mitchell May 24, 2025
Masterpiece from start to finish. The author orchestrated a breathtaking finale. Truly a work of art. I am now a lifelong fan of this author.
John Lopez
John Lopez April 05, 2025
Such a rich narrative. The author orchestrated a breathtaking finale. Truly a work of art. An effortless 5 stars.
Sandra King
Sandra King June 02, 2024
Took a moment to build, but the payoff was spectacular. The protagonist was compelling, though some subplots felt slightly overshadowed. A solid 4 stars from me.
Betty Miller
Betty Miller June 29, 2025
Honestly one of the most premium reading experiences lately. It strikes a perfect harmony of dialogue and world-building. Every chapter felt necessary. I am now a lifelong fan of this author.
Linda King
Linda King May 01, 2024
A highly sophisticated read. A brilliant concept executed with flair. Just a few pacing choices I would change. Quite impressive overall.
Sarah Perez
Sarah Perez November 12, 2024
An acceptable diversion. It verged on repetitive in the second act. A more concise edit would have served it well. Suitable if your reading queue is empty.
Matthew Harris
Matthew Harris November 30, 2025
It was adequate. It possessed moments of brilliance, but the narrative felt slightly disjointed ultimately. Unlikely to reread, but a reasonable expenditure of time.
Sharon Perez
Sharon Perez February 04, 2025
Absolutely brilliant. I became deeply invested in the protagonist's journey. A masterclass in storytelling. Worth every moment spent reading.
Patricia Mitchell
Patricia Mitchell January 16, 2024
Took a moment to build, but the payoff was spectacular. It held my rapt attention, even when certain twists were telegraphed. A very distinguished novel.
Matthew Gonzalez
Matthew Gonzalez March 21, 2025
Exceeded all my expectations. I became deeply invested in the protagonist's journey. A masterclass in storytelling. A true literary gem.
Stephanie Turner
Stephanie Turner June 03, 2025
Took a moment to build, but the payoff was spectacular. The protagonist was compelling, though some subplots felt slightly overshadowed. A wonderful companion for a quiet weekend.
Melissa Wilson
Melissa Wilson May 04, 2025
Excellent, though slightly flawed. It held my rapt attention, even when certain twists were telegraphed. A solid 4 stars from me.
Cynthia Jones
Cynthia Jones November 26, 2025
Masterpiece from start to finish. The prose is exquisite. It’s accessible yet undeniably sophisticated. Worth every moment spent reading.
Jennifer Johnson
Jennifer Johnson September 22, 2025
Honestly one of the most premium reading experiences lately. The prose is exquisite. It’s accessible yet undeniably sophisticated. A true literary gem.
Sandra Williams
Sandra Williams February 28, 2025
It was adequate. Certain acts were fascinating, while others felt like a slight endeavor to complete. Unlikely to reread, but a reasonable expenditure of time.
Ryan Smith
Ryan Smith July 07, 2025
Absolutely brilliant. The author orchestrated a breathtaking finale. Truly a work of art. An effortless 5 stars.
Edward Johnson
Edward Johnson August 25, 2025
Such a rich narrative. The author orchestrated a breathtaking finale. Truly a work of art. An effortless 5 stars.
Nancy Martinez
Nancy Martinez July 30, 2024
A highly sophisticated read. It held my rapt attention, even when certain twists were telegraphed. I would highly recommend this to discerning readers.
Nicholas Johnson
Nicholas Johnson July 06, 2024
Honestly one of the most premium reading experiences lately. The prose is exquisite. It’s accessible yet undeniably sophisticated. I am now a lifelong fan of this author.
Eric Thomas
Eric Thomas February 18, 2024
Not entirely to my refined tastes. Certain acts were fascinating, while others felt like a slight endeavor to complete. Perfectly average.
Betty Cruz
Betty Cruz November 15, 2024
Absolutely brilliant. I became deeply invested in the protagonist's journey. A masterclass in storytelling. A true literary gem.
Michael Martin
Michael Martin November 28, 2025
Took a moment to build, but the payoff was spectacular. It held my rapt attention, even when certain twists were telegraphed. I would highly recommend this to discerning readers.
Cynthia Edwards
Cynthia Edwards June 07, 2024
A profoundly satisfying read. I became deeply invested in the protagonist's journey. A masterclass in storytelling. An effortless 5 stars.
Eric King
Eric King May 03, 2024
A profoundly satisfying read. It strikes a perfect harmony of dialogue and world-building. Every chapter felt necessary. Worth every moment spent reading.
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