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I Was Told There'd Be Cake: Essays

I Was Told There'd Be Cake

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4.85
98,555 ratings · 2,722 reviews
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I Was Told There'd Be Cake: Essays

I Was Told There'd Be Cake

4.85 98,555 ratings · 2,722 reviews
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Overview: From the author of the novel, The Clasp, hailed by Michael Chabon, Heidi Julavits, and J. Courtney Sullivan. Wry, hilarious, and profoundly genuine, this debut collection of literary essays from Sloane Crosley is a celebration of fallibility and haplessness in all their glory.From despoiling an exhibit at the Natural History Museum to provoking the ire of her first boss to siccing the cops on her mysterious neighbor, Crosley can do no right despite the best of intentions -- or perhaps because of them. Together, these essays create a startlingly funny and revealing portrait of a complex and utterly recognizable character who aims for the stars but hits the ceiling, and the inimitable city that has helped shape who she is. I Was Told There'd Be Cake introduces a strikingly original voice, chronicling the struggles and unexpected beauty of modern urban life.The pony problem --Christmas in July --The ursula cookie --Bring your machete to work day --The good people of this dimension --Bastard out of Westchester --The beauty of strangers --Fuck you, Columbus --One-night bounce --Sign language for infidels --You on a stick --Height of luxury --Smell this --Lay like broccoli --Fever faker

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Pages 230
Language Eng
Published April 1, 2008
ISBN 2195289
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Sloane Crosley
About the Author
Sloane Crosley
15,136 Followers

After spending years working in the corporate world, Sloane Crosley finally decided to pursue a lifelong passion for writing. They currently reside in a quiet suburb where they spend most of their time outlining new stories, reading extensively, and occasionally attempting to bake.

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Brian Smith
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A profoundly satisfying read. The prose is exquisite. It’s accessible yet undeniably sophisticated. An absolute must-read for connoisseurs of the genre.
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Masterpiece from start to finish. I became deeply invested in the protagonist's journey. A masterclass in storytelling. I am now a lifelong fan of this author.
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Masterpiece from start to finish. I became deeply invested in the protagonist's journey. A masterclass in storytelling. I will undoubtedly revisit this masterpiece.
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Edward Lee
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Masterpiece from start to finish. The pacing was impeccable and the characters felt incredibly authentic. I was completely immersed. I will undoubtedly revisit this masterpiece.
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Andrew Collins
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Exceeded all my expectations. I became deeply invested in the protagonist's journey. A masterclass in storytelling. A true literary gem.
Joseph Walker
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Barbara Phillips
Barbara Phillips July 24, 2025
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Barbara Green
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David Martinez
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A profoundly satisfying read. The prose is exquisite. It’s accessible yet undeniably sophisticated. An absolute must-read for connoisseurs of the genre.
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I was completely blown away. I adored how the story unfolded. It kept me captivated without sacrificing elegance. An effortless 5 stars.
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Anthony Wilson
Anthony Wilson November 02, 2024
A highly sophisticated read. It held my rapt attention, even when certain twists were telegraphed. Quite impressive overall.
Margaret Walker
Margaret Walker February 13, 2024
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Brian King
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I find myself somewhat conflicted. The tempo was somewhat languid, and I found my mind wandering. Not poor, simply average. Perfectly average.
Laura  Parker
Laura Parker February 14, 2025
Masterpiece from start to finish. The author orchestrated a breathtaking finale. Truly a work of art. Worth every moment spent reading.
Kimberly  Davis
Kimberly Davis September 04, 2024
A profoundly satisfying read. It strikes a perfect harmony of dialogue and world-building. Every chapter felt necessary. An effortless 5 stars.
Brian Diaz
Brian Diaz December 29, 2024
Masterpiece from start to finish. The prose is exquisite. It’s accessible yet undeniably sophisticated. A true literary gem.
Thomas Brown
Thomas Brown March 09, 2024
I thoroughly enjoyed the elegance of it. Beautiful writing, though I craved slightly more depth in the lore. Still, undeniably engaging. A very distinguished novel.
Emily Wilson
Emily Wilson November 21, 2024
Took a moment to build, but the payoff was spectacular. It held my rapt attention, even when certain twists were telegraphed. I would highly recommend this to discerning readers.
Margaret Green
Margaret Green November 05, 2024
A highly sophisticated read. The middle had a deliberate pace, but the climax was phenomenal. A very distinguished novel.
Nancy Nguyen
Nancy Nguyen September 08, 2025
I find myself somewhat conflicted. The prose was competent, yet the characters lacked the depth I usually seek. Unlikely to reread, but a reasonable expenditure of time.
James Smith
James Smith June 18, 2024
I was completely blown away. I adored how the story unfolded. It kept me captivated without sacrificing elegance. Worth every moment spent reading.
Mark Clark
Mark Clark March 18, 2024
A profoundly satisfying read. The prose is exquisite. It’s accessible yet undeniably sophisticated. I will undoubtedly revisit this masterpiece.
Gary Moore
Gary Moore December 22, 2025
Took a moment to build, but the payoff was spectacular. It held my rapt attention, even when certain twists were telegraphed. I would highly recommend this to discerning readers.
Nicholas Carter
Nicholas Carter August 02, 2024
Absolutely brilliant. The author orchestrated a breathtaking finale. Truly a work of art. I am now a lifelong fan of this author.
Mary Phillips
Mary Phillips April 09, 2024
I thoroughly enjoyed the elegance of it. It held my rapt attention, even when certain twists were telegraphed. A wonderful companion for a quiet weekend.
Kenneth Gonzalez
Kenneth Gonzalez August 31, 2025
I was completely blown away. The author orchestrated a breathtaking finale. Truly a work of art. A true literary gem.
Steven Gomez
Steven Gomez November 29, 2024
Honestly one of the most premium reading experiences lately. It strikes a perfect harmony of dialogue and world-building. Every chapter felt necessary. Worth every moment spent reading.
Sarah Moore
Sarah Moore September 20, 2024
A profoundly satisfying read. The pacing was impeccable and the characters felt incredibly authentic. I was completely immersed. An effortless 5 stars.
David Nguyen
David Nguyen October 20, 2024
Exceeded all my expectations. The prose is exquisite. It’s accessible yet undeniably sophisticated. An effortless 5 stars.
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A highly sophisticated read. Beautiful writing, though I craved slightly more depth in the lore. Still, undeniably engaging. I would highly recommend this to discerning readers.
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