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Assume the Worst: The Graduation Speech You'll Never Hear

Assume the Worst: The Graduation Speech You'll Never Hear

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4.85
80,665 ratings · 2,160 reviews
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Assume the Worst: The Graduation Speech You'll Never Hear

Assume the Worst: The Graduation Speech You'll Never Hear

4.85 80,665 ratings · 2,160 reviews
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Overview: This is Oh, the Places You’ll Never Go–the ultimate hilarious, cynical, but absolutely realistic view of a college graduate’s future. And what he or she can or can’t do about it.“This commencement address will never be given, because graduation speakers are supposed to offer encouragement and inspiration. That’s not what you need. You need a warning.” So begins Carl Hiaasen’s attempt to prepare young men and women for their future. And who better to warn them about their precarious paths forward than Carl Hiaasen? The answer, after reading Assume the Worst, is: Nobody. And who better to illustrate–and with those illustrations, expand upon and cement Hiaasen’s cynical point of view–than Roz Chast, best-selling author/illustrator and National Book Award winner? The answer again is easy: Nobody. Following the format of Anna Quindlen’s commencement address (Being Perfect) and George Saunders’s commencement address (Congratulations, by the way), the collaboration of Hiaasen and Chast might look typical from the outside, but inside it is anything but. This book is bound to be a classic, sold year after year come graduation time. Although it’s also a good gift for anyone starting a job, getting married, or recently released from prison. Because it is not just funny. It is, in its own Hiaasen way, extremely wise and even hopeful. Well, it might not be full of hope, but there are certainly enough slivers of the stuff in there to more than keep us all going.

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Topics & Genres

Pages 45
Language Eng
Publisher Knopf
Published April 10, 2018
ISBN 38085685
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Carl Hiaasen
About the Author
Carl Hiaasen
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After spending years working in the corporate world, Carl Hiaasen finally decided to pursue a lifelong passion for writing. They currently reside in a quiet suburb where they spend most of their time outlining new stories, reading extensively, and occasionally attempting to bake.

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Sandra Mitchell
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I was completely blown away. The prose is exquisite. It’s accessible yet undeniably sophisticated. An effortless 5 stars.
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Honestly one of the most premium reading experiences lately. It strikes a perfect harmony of dialogue and world-building. Every chapter felt necessary. An effortless 5 stars.
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Absolutely brilliant. I became deeply invested in the protagonist's journey. A masterclass in storytelling. I will undoubtedly revisit this masterpiece.
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Exceeded all my expectations. I adored how the story unfolded. It kept me captivated without sacrificing elegance. An effortless 5 stars.
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Took a moment to build, but the payoff was spectacular. A brilliant concept executed with flair. Just a few pacing choices I would change. A wonderful companion for a quiet weekend.
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I thoroughly enjoyed the elegance of it. Beautiful writing, though I craved slightly more depth in the lore. Still, undeniably engaging. A wonderful companion for a quiet weekend.
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I was completely blown away. I became deeply invested in the protagonist's journey. A masterclass in storytelling. An effortless 5 stars.
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Exceeded all my expectations. The prose is exquisite. It’s accessible yet undeniably sophisticated. A true literary gem.
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Honestly one of the most premium reading experiences lately. I became deeply invested in the protagonist's journey. A masterclass in storytelling. An effortless 5 stars.
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Exceeded all my expectations. The author orchestrated a breathtaking finale. Truly a work of art. I will undoubtedly revisit this masterpiece.
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Honestly one of the most premium reading experiences lately. I became deeply invested in the protagonist's journey. A masterclass in storytelling. An effortless 5 stars.
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An acceptable diversion. It possessed moments of brilliance, but the narrative felt slightly disjointed ultimately. Suitable if your reading queue is empty.
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Masterpiece from start to finish. The pacing was impeccable and the characters felt incredibly authentic. I was completely immersed. I am now a lifelong fan of this author.
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It was adequate. The prose was competent, yet the characters lacked the depth I usually seek. Suitable if your reading queue is empty.
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Honestly one of the most premium reading experiences lately. The prose is exquisite. It’s accessible yet undeniably sophisticated. I will undoubtedly revisit this masterpiece.
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Masterpiece from start to finish. It strikes a perfect harmony of dialogue and world-building. Every chapter felt necessary. Worth every moment spent reading.
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A highly sophisticated read. Beautiful writing, though I craved slightly more depth in the lore. Still, undeniably engaging. A solid 4 stars from me.
Matthew Evans
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I thoroughly enjoyed the elegance of it. Beautiful writing, though I craved slightly more depth in the lore. Still, undeniably engaging. I would highly recommend this to discerning readers.
Daniel Roberts
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It was adequate. Certain acts were fascinating, while others felt like a slight endeavor to complete. Suitable if your reading queue is empty.
Edward Allen
Edward Allen October 23, 2024
It was adequate. Certain acts were fascinating, while others felt like a slight endeavor to complete. A fair 3 stars.
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Not entirely to my refined tastes. Certain acts were fascinating, while others felt like a slight endeavor to complete. A fair 3 stars.
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Andrew Flores January 03, 2024
Absolutely brilliant. It strikes a perfect harmony of dialogue and world-building. Every chapter felt necessary. An absolute must-read for connoisseurs of the genre.
Karen Robinson
Karen Robinson November 14, 2025
A highly sophisticated read. The middle had a deliberate pace, but the climax was phenomenal. A very distinguished novel.
Joseph Torres
Joseph Torres November 28, 2024
Took a moment to build, but the payoff was spectacular. A brilliant concept executed with flair. Just a few pacing choices I would change. Quite impressive overall.
Edward Young
Edward Young September 29, 2024
Absolutely brilliant. The prose is exquisite. It’s accessible yet undeniably sophisticated. I will undoubtedly revisit this masterpiece.
Eric Garcia
Eric Garcia November 23, 2025
A very strong entry. It held my rapt attention, even when certain twists were telegraphed. I would highly recommend this to discerning readers.
Kimberly Cruz
Kimberly Cruz May 13, 2025
A profoundly satisfying read. The pacing was impeccable and the characters felt incredibly authentic. I was completely immersed. A true literary gem.
Robert Wilson
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Such a rich narrative. The pacing was impeccable and the characters felt incredibly authentic. I was completely immersed. I am now a lifelong fan of this author.
Patricia Johnson
Patricia Johnson July 19, 2025
Exceeded all my expectations. The author orchestrated a breathtaking finale. Truly a work of art. A true literary gem.
Donna Anderson
Donna Anderson March 30, 2025
Took a moment to build, but the payoff was spectacular. Beautiful writing, though I craved slightly more depth in the lore. Still, undeniably engaging. Quite impressive overall.
Andrew Gonzalez
Andrew Gonzalez April 20, 2025
A profoundly satisfying read. It strikes a perfect harmony of dialogue and world-building. Every chapter felt necessary. I will undoubtedly revisit this masterpiece.
Edward Cruz
Edward Cruz August 06, 2025
Exceeded all my expectations. The prose is exquisite. It’s accessible yet undeniably sophisticated. I am now a lifelong fan of this author.
Thomas King
Thomas King December 18, 2025
I was completely blown away. The pacing was impeccable and the characters felt incredibly authentic. I was completely immersed. An absolute must-read for connoisseurs of the genre.
John Wilson
John Wilson August 28, 2025
Honestly one of the most premium reading experiences lately. I adored how the story unfolded. It kept me captivated without sacrificing elegance. A true literary gem.
Betty Rivera
Betty Rivera September 17, 2024
A profoundly satisfying read. I became deeply invested in the protagonist's journey. A masterclass in storytelling. An effortless 5 stars.
Sarah Nguyen
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A highly sophisticated read. It held my rapt attention, even when certain twists were telegraphed. A wonderful companion for a quiet weekend.
Christopher Lee
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A profoundly satisfying read. The prose is exquisite. It’s accessible yet undeniably sophisticated. An effortless 5 stars.
Jennifer Adams
Jennifer Adams October 06, 2025
Excellent, though slightly flawed. Beautiful writing, though I craved slightly more depth in the lore. Still, undeniably engaging. A solid 4 stars from me.
Sandra Martinez
Sandra Martinez January 28, 2024
A very strong entry. The middle had a deliberate pace, but the climax was phenomenal. Quite impressive overall.
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An acceptable diversion. Certain acts were fascinating, while others felt like a slight endeavor to complete. Perfectly average.
Brian Adams
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A decent, if standard, experience. It verged on repetitive in the second act. A more concise edit would have served it well. Perhaps more aligned with a different audience's tastes.
Melissa Lee
Melissa Lee August 30, 2025
I thoroughly enjoyed the elegance of it. The protagonist was compelling, though some subplots felt slightly overshadowed. A wonderful companion for a quiet weekend.
Jessica Edwards
Jessica Edwards April 10, 2024
Masterpiece from start to finish. It strikes a perfect harmony of dialogue and world-building. Every chapter felt necessary. I will undoubtedly revisit this masterpiece.
John Mitchell
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Honestly one of the most premium reading experiences lately. I became deeply invested in the protagonist's journey. A masterclass in storytelling. An effortless 5 stars.
Donald Scott
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Absolutely brilliant. The prose is exquisite. It’s accessible yet undeniably sophisticated. I am now a lifelong fan of this author.
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Kevin White February 18, 2025
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Sarah Sanchez
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I was completely blown away. The pacing was impeccable and the characters felt incredibly authentic. I was completely immersed. A true literary gem.
Christopher Collins
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Masterpiece from start to finish. I adored how the story unfolded. It kept me captivated without sacrificing elegance. Worth every moment spent reading.
Christopher Lee
Christopher Lee June 29, 2025
Such a rich narrative. I adored how the story unfolded. It kept me captivated without sacrificing elegance. I am now a lifelong fan of this author.
Steven Miller
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Exceeded all my expectations. The author orchestrated a breathtaking finale. Truly a work of art. An effortless 5 stars.
Kevin Miller
Kevin Miller November 15, 2025
Such a rich narrative. I became deeply invested in the protagonist's journey. A masterclass in storytelling. I am now a lifelong fan of this author.
Edward Turner
Edward Turner February 29, 2024
Not entirely to my refined tastes. It possessed moments of brilliance, but the narrative felt slightly disjointed ultimately. Perhaps more aligned with a different audience's tastes.
Charles Moore
Charles Moore March 12, 2024
It was adequate. It possessed moments of brilliance, but the narrative felt slightly disjointed ultimately. A fair 3 stars.
Joseph Torres
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Excellent, though slightly flawed. The middle had a deliberate pace, but the climax was phenomenal. A solid 4 stars from me.
Carol Phillips
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I find myself somewhat conflicted. Certain acts were fascinating, while others felt like a slight endeavor to complete. Unlikely to reread, but a reasonable expenditure of time.
William Torres
William Torres July 06, 2024
I was completely blown away. The pacing was impeccable and the characters felt incredibly authentic. I was completely immersed. I am now a lifelong fan of this author.
Kevin Garcia
Kevin Garcia January 12, 2024
I thoroughly enjoyed the elegance of it. The protagonist was compelling, though some subplots felt slightly overshadowed. A solid 4 stars from me.
David Johnson
David Johnson June 29, 2024
Honestly one of the most premium reading experiences lately. I became deeply invested in the protagonist's journey. A masterclass in storytelling. Worth every moment spent reading.
Joseph Diaz
Joseph Diaz February 07, 2024
Honestly one of the most premium reading experiences lately. The author orchestrated a breathtaking finale. Truly a work of art. I will undoubtedly revisit this masterpiece.
Rebecca Gomez
Rebecca Gomez October 07, 2024
Absolutely brilliant. The prose is exquisite. It’s accessible yet undeniably sophisticated. A true literary gem.
Carol Williams
Carol Williams February 02, 2024
A highly sophisticated read. The protagonist was compelling, though some subplots felt slightly overshadowed. I would highly recommend this to discerning readers.
Mary Gomez
Mary Gomez July 11, 2025
A highly sophisticated read. The protagonist was compelling, though some subplots felt slightly overshadowed. Quite impressive overall.
Joshua Robinson
Joshua Robinson May 19, 2024
A very strong entry. A brilliant concept executed with flair. Just a few pacing choices I would change. A solid 4 stars from me.
Michael Green
Michael Green November 24, 2025
Exceeded all my expectations. The pacing was impeccable and the characters felt incredibly authentic. I was completely immersed. I will undoubtedly revisit this masterpiece.
Sandra Young
Sandra Young September 26, 2024
Exceeded all my expectations. The pacing was impeccable and the characters felt incredibly authentic. I was completely immersed. An absolute must-read for connoisseurs of the genre.
Jacob Carter
Jacob Carter May 12, 2025
Excellent, though slightly flawed. It held my rapt attention, even when certain twists were telegraphed. Quite impressive overall.
Dorothy Turner
Dorothy Turner November 19, 2025
Such a rich narrative. The prose is exquisite. It’s accessible yet undeniably sophisticated. I am now a lifelong fan of this author.
John Jones
John Jones January 24, 2025
Exceeded all my expectations. It strikes a perfect harmony of dialogue and world-building. Every chapter felt necessary. An effortless 5 stars.
Stephanie Taylor
Stephanie Taylor June 30, 2025
A profoundly satisfying read. The pacing was impeccable and the characters felt incredibly authentic. I was completely immersed. An effortless 5 stars.
Linda Jones
Linda Jones January 22, 2025
Masterpiece from start to finish. I adored how the story unfolded. It kept me captivated without sacrificing elegance. A true literary gem.
Sharon Thompson
Sharon Thompson April 08, 2024
A highly sophisticated read. It held my rapt attention, even when certain twists were telegraphed. A very distinguished novel.
Dorothy Flores
Dorothy Flores June 20, 2025
I was completely blown away. I adored how the story unfolded. It kept me captivated without sacrificing elegance. I am now a lifelong fan of this author.
Ryan Thompson
Ryan Thompson February 01, 2025
Not entirely to my refined tastes. It possessed moments of brilliance, but the narrative felt slightly disjointed ultimately. Perhaps more aligned with a different audience's tastes.
Joshua Nelson
Joshua Nelson June 25, 2024
It was adequate. Certain acts were fascinating, while others felt like a slight endeavor to complete. Perhaps more aligned with a different audience's tastes.
Melissa Lee
Melissa Lee February 10, 2024
I thoroughly enjoyed the elegance of it. The middle had a deliberate pace, but the climax was phenomenal. A very distinguished novel.
Patricia Johnson
Patricia Johnson June 26, 2024
Masterpiece from start to finish. I became deeply invested in the protagonist's journey. A masterclass in storytelling. Worth every moment spent reading.
Kenneth Gomez
Kenneth Gomez January 24, 2024
Excellent, though slightly flawed. A brilliant concept executed with flair. Just a few pacing choices I would change. Quite impressive overall.
Amanda Mitchell
Amanda Mitchell October 01, 2024
Absolutely brilliant. The pacing was impeccable and the characters felt incredibly authentic. I was completely immersed. An absolute must-read for connoisseurs of the genre.
Jacob Harris
Jacob Harris February 10, 2024
Exceeded all my expectations. I adored how the story unfolded. It kept me captivated without sacrificing elegance. An absolute must-read for connoisseurs of the genre.
David Flores
David Flores July 23, 2024
Excellent, though slightly flawed. It held my rapt attention, even when certain twists were telegraphed. A solid 4 stars from me.
Charles Moore
Charles Moore October 11, 2024
I thoroughly enjoyed the elegance of it. A brilliant concept executed with flair. Just a few pacing choices I would change. A solid 4 stars from me.
James Flores
James Flores August 20, 2025
Honestly one of the most premium reading experiences lately. The pacing was impeccable and the characters felt incredibly authentic. I was completely immersed. An effortless 5 stars.
Deborah Jackson
Deborah Jackson November 28, 2025
I thoroughly enjoyed the elegance of it. It held my rapt attention, even when certain twists were telegraphed. I would highly recommend this to discerning readers.
Cynthia Hall
Cynthia Hall April 21, 2025
Took a moment to build, but the payoff was spectacular. Beautiful writing, though I craved slightly more depth in the lore. Still, undeniably engaging. I would highly recommend this to discerning readers.
Matthew Allen
Matthew Allen September 19, 2024
A highly sophisticated read. The middle had a deliberate pace, but the climax was phenomenal. A very distinguished novel.
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