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OFFICIAL VERIFIED

How to Be a Family: The Year I Dragged My Kids Around the World to Find a New Way to Be Together

by Dan Kois g
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3.72
89,102 ratings · 8,219 reviews
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OFFICIAL VERIFIED

How to Be a Family: The Year I Dragged My Kids Around the World to Find a New Way to Be Together

by Dan Kois g
3.72 89,102 ratings · 8,219 reviews
Discover How to Be a Family: The Year I Dragged My Kids Around the World to Find a New Way to Be Together by Dan Kois. Start reading today and explore ideas, insights, and experiences that stay with you.

Overview: In this "refreshingly relatable" (Outside) memoir, perfect for the self-isolating family, Slate editor Dan Kois sets out with his family on a journey around the world to change their lives together.What happens when one frustrated dad turns his kids' lives upside down in search of a new way to be a family?Dan Kois and his wife always did their best for their kids. Busy professionals living in the D.C. suburbs, they scheduled their children's time wisely, and when they weren't arguing over screen time, the Kois family-Dan, his wife Alia, and their two pre-teen daughters-could each be found searching for their own happiness. But aren't families supposed to achieve happiness together?In this eye-opening, heartwarming, and very funny family memoir, the fractious, loving Kois' go in search of other places on the map that might offer them the chance to live away from home-but closer together. Over a year the family lands in New Zealand, the Netherlands, Costa Rica, and small-town Kansas. The goal? To get out of their rut of busyness and distractedness and to see how other families live outside the East Coast parenting bubble.HOW TO BE A FAMILY brings readers along as the Kois girls-witty, solitary, extremely online Lyra and goofy, sensitive, social butterfly Harper-like through the Kiwi bush, ride bikes to a Dutch school in the pouring rain, battle iguanas in their Costa Rican kitchen, and learn to love a town where everyone knows your name. Meanwhile, Dan interviews neighbors, public officials, and scholars to learn why each of these places work the way they do. Will this trip change the Kois family's lives? Or do families take their problems and conflicts with them wherever we go?A journalistic memoir filled with heart, empathy, and lots of whining, HOW TO BE A FAMILY will make readers dream about the amazing adventures their own families might take.

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Details & Genres

Non Fiction Memoir Nonfiction Travel Parenting Memoirs Audio
Length N/A pages
Published September 17, 2019
ISBN-13 43521707

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Dan Kois
About the Author Dan Kois
11,237 followers

Dan Kois is a writer and avid reader based in the Pacific Northwest. Before pursuing writing full-time, they spent over a decade working in education. When not working on their next book, Dan Kois can usually be found hiking with their dog or trying out new coffee shops in their neighborhood.

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Joseph White
Joseph White March 08, 2024
I liked it for the most part. Interesting premise and executed fairly well. Just a few slow chapters here and there. Not bad at all.
Dorothy Green
Dorothy Green December 20, 2025
Pretty good overall. The middle dragged a tiny bit, but the ending totally made up for it. Enjoyable weekend read.
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Stephanie Campbell
Stephanie Campbell April 19, 2024
Honestly one of the better books I've read lately. The pacing was spot on and the characters felt real. I didn't find myself getting bored at any point. Definitely recommend it if you like this genre.
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Emily Ramirez November 10, 2024
Honestly one of the better books I've read lately. The author did a great job wrapping everything up at the end. No weird plot holes left behind. Worth the time and money.
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Glad someone recommended this to me. I got really invested in the main character's journey. Everything just clicked for me. A solid 5/5 for me.
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Jennifer Anderson May 05, 2025
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Barbara Green
Barbara Green March 22, 2024
Really enjoyed this one. The writing style is very engaging. It’s easy to follow but still has a lot of depth. Will be looking for more from this author.
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Jessica Rivera June 23, 2025
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Jessica Williams February 17, 2024
I liked it for the most part. Writing is good, just wish there was a bit more depth in certain parts. Still kept my attention though. Still a good book.
Eric Phillips
Eric Phillips August 16, 2024
Good, but not quite perfect. Interesting premise and executed fairly well. Just a few slow chapters here and there. Enjoyable weekend read.
Jessica Thompson
Jessica Thompson June 23, 2024
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Eric Campbell August 28, 2025
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Honestly one of the better books I've read lately. The author did a great job wrapping everything up at the end. No weird plot holes left behind. A solid 5/5 for me.
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Richard Phillips July 14, 2025
Finished it in a couple of days. It has a good balance of dialogue and description. Everything felt like it moved at the right speed. Definitely recommend it if you like this genre.
Mary Rivera
Mary Rivera January 18, 2025
Really enjoyed this one. I got really invested in the main character's journey. Everything just clicked for me. Glad I picked this up.
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Mark Harris August 09, 2025
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Finished it in a couple of days. It has a good balance of dialogue and description. Everything felt like it moved at the right speed. A solid 5/5 for me.
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Donna King April 08, 2024
A solid read. Writing is good, just wish there was a bit more depth in certain parts. Still kept my attention though. Enjoyable weekend read.
Deborah Taylor
Deborah Taylor February 06, 2024
Glad someone recommended this to me. The author did a great job wrapping everything up at the end. No weird plot holes left behind. Glad I picked this up.
James Edwards
James Edwards October 02, 2025
Such a great read. It has a good balance of dialogue and description. Everything felt like it moved at the right speed. Glad I picked this up.
Amanda Scott
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Honestly one of the better books I've read lately. The author did a great job wrapping everything up at the end. No weird plot holes left behind. Will be looking for more from this author.
Susan  Davis
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Such a great read. The pacing was spot on and the characters felt real. I didn't find myself getting bored at any point. Glad I picked this up.
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Joshua Hill
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Lisa Jackson
Lisa Jackson May 23, 2024
Pretty good overall. The middle dragged a tiny bit, but the ending totally made up for it. Still a good book.
James Walker
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Emily Perez
Emily Perez November 29, 2024
I was pleasantly surprised. I got really invested in the main character's journey. Everything just clicked for me. Glad I picked this up.
Mary  Parker
Mary Parker October 24, 2024
Took me a few chapters to get into it, but it was worth it. The middle dragged a tiny bit, but the ending totally made up for it. Not bad at all.
George  Parker
George Parker September 09, 2024
Such a great read. I got really invested in the main character's journey. Everything just clicked for me. Worth the time and money.
Laura Jones
Laura Jones July 10, 2025
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Rebecca Mitchell
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Lisa Hernandez
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Not bad, but not my favorite. It felt a bit repetitive in the middle. Could have been shorter. Probably won't read it again, but it was an okay way to pass the time.
Sandra Roberts
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Good, but not quite perfect. The middle dragged a tiny bit, but the ending totally made up for it. Still a good book.
Robert Gomez
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I liked it for the most part. Interesting premise and executed fairly well. Just a few slow chapters here and there. I'd probably recommend it to a friend.
Thomas Thomas
Thomas Thomas March 14, 2024
I was pleasantly surprised. It has a good balance of dialogue and description. Everything felt like it moved at the right speed. Glad I picked this up.
Barbara Reyes
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Betty Moore
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Finished it in a couple of days. The pacing was spot on and the characters felt real. I didn't find myself getting bored at any point. A solid 5/5 for me.
Elizabeth Miller
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David Robinson
David Robinson November 18, 2024
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Matthew Smith
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Robert Johnson
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Karen Sanchez
Karen Sanchez January 21, 2025
It was okay. Some parts were interesting, while others were a bit of a slog to get through. Just right down the middle.
Kevin Robinson
Kevin Robinson May 10, 2025
Such a great read. It has a good balance of dialogue and description. Everything felt like it moved at the right speed. A solid 5/5 for me.
Paul Campbell
Paul Campbell July 16, 2025
A solid read. Writing is good, just wish there was a bit more depth in certain parts. Still kept my attention though. I'd probably recommend it to a friend.
Lisa Hernandez
Lisa Hernandez February 17, 2025
Glad someone recommended this to me. It has a good balance of dialogue and description. Everything felt like it moved at the right speed. Definitely recommend it if you like this genre.
Lisa Torres
Lisa Torres July 27, 2025
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Laura Martin March 09, 2025
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A very satisfying read. The author did a great job wrapping everything up at the end. No weird plot holes left behind. A solid 5/5 for me.
Matthew Perez
Matthew Perez June 28, 2025
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Ashley Johnson September 24, 2024
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Joseph Hernandez August 24, 2024
Glad someone recommended this to me. The author did a great job wrapping everything up at the end. No weird plot holes left behind. Worth the time and money.
David Lewis
David Lewis December 18, 2025
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David Turner
David Turner December 29, 2024
I was pleasantly surprised. I got really invested in the main character's journey. Everything just clicked for me. Glad I picked this up.
Donna Rodriguez
Donna Rodriguez June 09, 2024
It was okay. The pacing was a bit slow and I found myself skimming a few pages. It wasn't terrible, just okay. Just right down the middle.
Robert Perez
Robert Perez March 25, 2025
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Laura Jones
Laura Jones May 29, 2025
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Edward Allen
Edward Allen May 17, 2024
I was pleasantly surprised. I loved how the story unfolded. It kept me guessing without being too confusing. Glad I picked this up.
Betty Moore
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Honestly one of the better books I've read lately. It has a good balance of dialogue and description. Everything felt like it moved at the right speed. Glad I picked this up.
Karen Reyes
Karen Reyes April 13, 2024
A very satisfying read. The writing style is very engaging. It’s easy to follow but still has a lot of depth. Will be looking for more from this author.
Donna Evans
Donna Evans February 08, 2025
Really enjoyed this one. I loved how the story unfolded. It kept me guessing without being too confusing. Would probably read it again at some point.
Ryan Hernandez
Ryan Hernandez March 10, 2025
Finished it in a couple of days. The author did a great job wrapping everything up at the end. No weird plot holes left behind. Worth the time and money.
Deborah Harris
Deborah Harris January 13, 2025
Finished it in a couple of days. I loved how the story unfolded. It kept me guessing without being too confusing. Would probably read it again at some point.
Amanda Scott
Amanda Scott March 27, 2024
Glad someone recommended this to me. The writing style is very engaging. It’s easy to follow but still has a lot of depth. Definitely recommend it if you like this genre.
Margaret Anderson
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David Turner March 18, 2024
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Sarah Carter
Sarah Carter October 03, 2024
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Margaret Flores January 24, 2025
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Richard Adams November 30, 2025
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Lisa Martinez
Lisa Martinez January 01, 2024
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James Edwards May 10, 2025
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Jessica Young July 21, 2025
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Nancy Flores January 22, 2025
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Sarah Jackson September 04, 2025
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Really enjoyed this one. The pacing was spot on and the characters felt real. I didn't find myself getting bored at any point. Glad I picked this up.
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Laura Mitchell October 30, 2024
Glad someone recommended this to me. The author did a great job wrapping everything up at the end. No weird plot holes left behind. Glad I picked this up.
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Nancy Allen
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Sandra King
Sandra King May 25, 2024
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Sandra Nguyen October 22, 2024
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Paul Jones
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I liked it for the most part. The middle dragged a tiny bit, but the ending totally made up for it. Enjoyable weekend read.
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Pretty good overall. I liked the main character, though some of the side plots were just okay. A solid 4 stars from me.
Emily Evans
Emily Evans May 07, 2024
Finished it in a couple of days. The author did a great job wrapping everything up at the end. No weird plot holes left behind. A solid 5/5 for me.
Patricia Taylor
Patricia Taylor July 02, 2025
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Sarah Edwards July 06, 2024
An average read for me. It felt a bit repetitive in the middle. Could have been shorter. Probably won't read it again, but it was an okay way to pass the time.
Jessica Baker
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Not bad, but not my favorite. The writing was fine, but I didn't feel very connected to the characters. They felt a bit flat. A generous 3 stars.
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Good, but not quite perfect. Interesting premise and executed fairly well. Just a few slow chapters here and there. Not bad at all.
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Carol Lopez October 21, 2025
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Brian Campbell
Brian Campbell December 03, 2025
It was okay. It felt a bit repetitive in the middle. Could have been shorter. It's fine if you have nothing else to read.
Sarah Rodriguez
Sarah Rodriguez January 28, 2024
It was just alright. It felt a bit repetitive in the middle. Could have been shorter. It's fine if you have nothing else to read.
Christopher Gomez
Christopher Gomez June 14, 2025
Glad someone recommended this to me. I loved how the story unfolded. It kept me guessing without being too confusing. Glad I picked this up.
Joseph Roberts
Joseph Roberts February 06, 2025
Honestly one of the better books I've read lately. It has a good balance of dialogue and description. Everything felt like it moved at the right speed. A solid 5/5 for me.
James Edwards
James Edwards August 06, 2024
Honestly one of the better books I've read lately. I got really invested in the main character's journey. Everything just clicked for me. A solid 5/5 for me.
Donna Hall
Donna Hall September 15, 2024
Glad someone recommended this to me. It has a good balance of dialogue and description. Everything felt like it moved at the right speed. Definitely recommend it if you like this genre.
Karen Williams
Karen Williams January 21, 2024
I was pleasantly surprised. The pacing was spot on and the characters felt real. I didn't find myself getting bored at any point. Would probably read it again at some point.
Ashley Nguyen
Ashley Nguyen December 29, 2024
Finished it in a couple of days. It has a good balance of dialogue and description. Everything felt like it moved at the right speed. Worth the time and money.
Steven Hall
Steven Hall February 17, 2025
Honestly one of the better books I've read lately. I got really invested in the main character's journey. Everything just clicked for me. Definitely recommend it if you like this genre.
Brian Campbell
Brian Campbell January 29, 2025
I have mixed feelings about this one. It felt a bit repetitive in the middle. Could have been shorter. A generous 3 stars.
Kevin Robinson
Kevin Robinson August 04, 2024
A solid read. Interesting premise and executed fairly well. Just a few slow chapters here and there. Still a good book.
Paul Reyes
Paul Reyes February 17, 2025
I liked it for the most part. The middle dragged a tiny bit, but the ending totally made up for it. I'd probably recommend it to a friend.
Sandra Lopez
Sandra Lopez June 13, 2025
Finished it in a couple of days. It has a good balance of dialogue and description. Everything felt like it moved at the right speed. Glad I picked this up.
James Green
James Green January 05, 2025
Took me a few chapters to get into it, but it was worth it. I liked the main character, though some of the side plots were just okay. Still a good book.
Lisa Hernandez
Lisa Hernandez December 18, 2024
A very satisfying read. It has a good balance of dialogue and description. Everything felt like it moved at the right speed. Would probably read it again at some point.
Paul Jackson
Paul Jackson July 13, 2024
Finished it in a couple of days. The author did a great job wrapping everything up at the end. No weird plot holes left behind. Glad I picked this up.
Carol Rivera
Carol Rivera July 31, 2024
Such a great read. I got really invested in the main character's journey. Everything just clicked for me. Will be looking for more from this author.
Thomas Roberts
Thomas Roberts January 28, 2025
I was pleasantly surprised. It has a good balance of dialogue and description. Everything felt like it moved at the right speed. Would probably read it again at some point.
Lisa Jackson
Lisa Jackson January 11, 2024
Really enjoyed this one. I got really invested in the main character's journey. Everything just clicked for me. Will be looking for more from this author.
Melissa Lee
Melissa Lee April 08, 2025
A very satisfying read. I got really invested in the main character's journey. Everything just clicked for me. Definitely recommend it if you like this genre.
Thomas Robinson
Thomas Robinson February 05, 2024
Honestly one of the better books I've read lately. I got really invested in the main character's journey. Everything just clicked for me. Worth the time and money.
Margaret Nelson
Margaret Nelson July 13, 2024
Finished it in a couple of days. I loved how the story unfolded. It kept me guessing without being too confusing. Would probably read it again at some point.
Nicholas Phillips
Nicholas Phillips September 25, 2024
Good, but not quite perfect. Interesting premise and executed fairly well. Just a few slow chapters here and there. Not bad at all.
Thomas Perez
Thomas Perez March 23, 2024
An average read for me. The writing was fine, but I didn't feel very connected to the characters. They felt a bit flat. A generous 3 stars.
Paul Martin
Paul Martin August 29, 2025
Such a great read. The author did a great job wrapping everything up at the end. No weird plot holes left behind. Definitely recommend it if you like this genre.
Gary Edwards
Gary Edwards April 05, 2024
Glad someone recommended this to me. It has a good balance of dialogue and description. Everything felt like it moved at the right speed. Definitely recommend it if you like this genre.
Sarah Jackson
Sarah Jackson March 26, 2024
Really enjoyed this one. The author did a great job wrapping everything up at the end. No weird plot holes left behind. Definitely recommend it if you like this genre.
Patricia Turner
Patricia Turner August 13, 2025
A very satisfying read. I got really invested in the main character's journey. Everything just clicked for me. Would probably read it again at some point.
Brian Gonzalez
Brian Gonzalez October 18, 2025
A solid read. Writing is good, just wish there was a bit more depth in certain parts. Still kept my attention though. I'd probably recommend it to a friend.
Matthew Smith
Matthew Smith December 11, 2024
Took me a few chapters to get into it, but it was worth it. The middle dragged a tiny bit, but the ending totally made up for it. A solid 4 stars from me.
Rebecca Miller
Rebecca Miller April 05, 2025
I was pleasantly surprised. The writing style is very engaging. It’s easy to follow but still has a lot of depth. Definitely recommend it if you like this genre.
James King
James King November 25, 2025
Good, but not quite perfect. Writing is good, just wish there was a bit more depth in certain parts. Still kept my attention though. Not bad at all.
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