You Better Not Cry: Stories for Christmas

You Better Not Cry: Stories for Christmas

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4.85
25,192 ratings
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You Better Not Cry: Stories for Christmas

You Better Not Cry: Stories for Christmas

Written by Augusten Burroughs
4.85 25,192 ratings
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About this ebook:
You’ve eaten too much candy at Christmas…but have you ever eaten the face off a six-footstuffed Santa? You’ve seen gingerbread houses…but have you ever made your own gingerbread tenement? You’ve woken up with a hangover…but have you ever woken up next to Kris Kringle himself? Augusten Burroughs has, and in this caustically funny, nostalgic, poignant, and moving collection he recounts Christmases past and present—as only he could. With gimleteyed wit and illuminated prose, Augusten shows how the holidays bring out the worst in us and sometimes, just sometimes, the very, very best.You better not cry --And two eyes made out of coal --Claus and effect --Ask again later --Why do you reward me thus --The best and only everything --Silent night

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Pages 206
Language Eng
Published October 1, 2009
ISBN 6548291
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Augusten Burroughs
About the Author
Augusten Burroughs

Augusten Burroughs is a writer and avid reader based in the Pacific Northwest. Before pursuing writing full-time, they spent over a decade working in education. When not working on their next book, Augusten Burroughs can usually be found hiking with their dog or trying out new coffee shops in their neighborhood.

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William Lee
William Lee March 08, 2024
Absolutely brilliant. It strikes a perfect harmony of dialogue and world-building. Every chapter felt necessary. A true literary gem.
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Such a rich narrative. The author orchestrated a breathtaking finale. Truly a work of art. I am now a lifelong fan of this author.
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An acceptable diversion. The prose was competent, yet the characters lacked the depth I usually seek. A fair 3 stars.
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Barbara Jackson November 08, 2025
Masterpiece from start to finish. The prose is exquisite. It’s accessible yet undeniably sophisticated. I will undoubtedly revisit this masterpiece.
Betty Thompson
Betty Thompson June 18, 2024
A very strong entry. A brilliant concept executed with flair. Just a few pacing choices I would change. A solid 4 stars from me.
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Lisa Williams April 04, 2025
Absolutely brilliant. The pacing was impeccable and the characters felt incredibly authentic. I was completely immersed. A true literary gem.
Elizabeth Roberts
Elizabeth Roberts March 26, 2025
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John Reyes
John Reyes November 19, 2024
I was completely blown away. I adored how the story unfolded. It kept me captivated without sacrificing elegance. I will undoubtedly revisit this masterpiece.
Stephanie Turner
Stephanie Turner October 23, 2025
Took a moment to build, but the payoff was spectacular. The protagonist was compelling, though some subplots felt slightly overshadowed. I would highly recommend this to discerning readers.
John Harris
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Such a rich narrative. I adored how the story unfolded. It kept me captivated without sacrificing elegance. An absolute must-read for connoisseurs of the genre.
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Honestly one of the most premium reading experiences lately. The prose is exquisite. It’s accessible yet undeniably sophisticated. An effortless 5 stars.
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A highly sophisticated read. A brilliant concept executed with flair. Just a few pacing choices I would change. A wonderful companion for a quiet weekend.
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Honestly one of the most premium reading experiences lately. I adored how the story unfolded. It kept me captivated without sacrificing elegance. I am now a lifelong fan of this author.
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Absolutely brilliant. It strikes a perfect harmony of dialogue and world-building. Every chapter felt necessary. I am now a lifelong fan of this author.
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Masterpiece from start to finish. It strikes a perfect harmony of dialogue and world-building. Every chapter felt necessary. I will undoubtedly revisit this masterpiece.
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I was completely blown away. It strikes a perfect harmony of dialogue and world-building. Every chapter felt necessary. I am now a lifelong fan of this author.
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Such a rich narrative. The author orchestrated a breathtaking finale. Truly a work of art. I will undoubtedly revisit this masterpiece.
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I was completely blown away. It strikes a perfect harmony of dialogue and world-building. Every chapter felt necessary. I will undoubtedly revisit this masterpiece.
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Took a moment to build, but the payoff was spectacular. The protagonist was compelling, though some subplots felt slightly overshadowed. A wonderful companion for a quiet weekend.
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Exceeded all my expectations. The author orchestrated a breathtaking finale. Truly a work of art. I will undoubtedly revisit this masterpiece.
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A profoundly satisfying read. I adored how the story unfolded. It kept me captivated without sacrificing elegance. Worth every moment spent reading.
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Honestly one of the most premium reading experiences lately. I became deeply invested in the protagonist's journey. A masterclass in storytelling. An absolute must-read for connoisseurs of the genre.
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A profoundly satisfying read. The prose is exquisite. It’s accessible yet undeniably sophisticated. Worth every moment spent reading.
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Exceeded all my expectations. The pacing was impeccable and the characters felt incredibly authentic. I was completely immersed. I will undoubtedly revisit this masterpiece.
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Donna Jones October 22, 2024
A highly sophisticated read. The middle had a deliberate pace, but the climax was phenomenal. A wonderful companion for a quiet weekend.
Joshua Baker
Joshua Baker November 13, 2025
A highly sophisticated read. A brilliant concept executed with flair. Just a few pacing choices I would change. A wonderful companion for a quiet weekend.
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Exceeded all my expectations. The pacing was impeccable and the characters felt incredibly authentic. I was completely immersed. Worth every moment spent reading.
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I was completely blown away. The prose is exquisite. It’s accessible yet undeniably sophisticated. A true literary gem.
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Absolutely brilliant. I adored how the story unfolded. It kept me captivated without sacrificing elegance. An effortless 5 stars.
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A highly sophisticated read. A brilliant concept executed with flair. Just a few pacing choices I would change. I would highly recommend this to discerning readers.
James  Davis
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A very strong entry. It held my rapt attention, even when certain twists were telegraphed. A very distinguished novel.
Ashley Sanchez
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Took a moment to build, but the payoff was spectacular. A brilliant concept executed with flair. Just a few pacing choices I would change. Quite impressive overall.
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Linda Wright May 09, 2025
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Deborah Phillips
Deborah Phillips August 01, 2025
Such a rich narrative. It strikes a perfect harmony of dialogue and world-building. Every chapter felt necessary. Worth every moment spent reading.
Stephanie Perez
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Honestly one of the most premium reading experiences lately. The prose is exquisite. It’s accessible yet undeniably sophisticated. A true literary gem.
Kevin Walker
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Exceeded all my expectations. The pacing was impeccable and the characters felt incredibly authentic. I was completely immersed. I am now a lifelong fan of this author.
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I find myself somewhat conflicted. Certain acts were fascinating, while others felt like a slight endeavor to complete. Suitable if your reading queue is empty.
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I was completely blown away. The prose is exquisite. It’s accessible yet undeniably sophisticated. I will undoubtedly revisit this masterpiece.
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Exceeded all my expectations. I became deeply invested in the protagonist's journey. A masterclass in storytelling. Worth every moment spent reading.
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Betty Baker
Betty Baker February 21, 2024
I was completely blown away. It strikes a perfect harmony of dialogue and world-building. Every chapter felt necessary. I will undoubtedly revisit this masterpiece.
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Honestly one of the most premium reading experiences lately. The pacing was impeccable and the characters felt incredibly authentic. I was completely immersed. An absolute must-read for connoisseurs of the genre.
Brian Jones
Brian Jones August 12, 2024
A profoundly satisfying read. The pacing was impeccable and the characters felt incredibly authentic. I was completely immersed. A true literary gem.
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Lisa Torres August 13, 2024
I thoroughly enjoyed the elegance of it. The middle had a deliberate pace, but the climax was phenomenal. A solid 4 stars from me.
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Stephanie Baker April 15, 2025
Honestly one of the most premium reading experiences lately. I became deeply invested in the protagonist's journey. A masterclass in storytelling. A true literary gem.
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I thoroughly enjoyed the elegance of it. It held my rapt attention, even when certain twists were telegraphed. A wonderful companion for a quiet weekend.
Betty Moore
Betty Moore March 26, 2025
Exceeded all my expectations. The prose is exquisite. It’s accessible yet undeniably sophisticated. I will undoubtedly revisit this masterpiece.
Linda Clark
Linda Clark November 21, 2024
I thoroughly enjoyed the elegance of it. The middle had a deliberate pace, but the climax was phenomenal. Quite impressive overall.
Michael Rodriguez
Michael Rodriguez February 17, 2025
Absolutely brilliant. I became deeply invested in the protagonist's journey. A masterclass in storytelling. A true literary gem.
David Anderson
David Anderson May 07, 2024
A profoundly satisfying read. It strikes a perfect harmony of dialogue and world-building. Every chapter felt necessary. I will undoubtedly revisit this masterpiece.
Andrew Baker
Andrew Baker July 31, 2024
Such a rich narrative. I adored how the story unfolded. It kept me captivated without sacrificing elegance. An effortless 5 stars.
John Harris
John Harris October 15, 2024
Exceeded all my expectations. The prose is exquisite. It’s accessible yet undeniably sophisticated. I will undoubtedly revisit this masterpiece.
Charles Miller
Charles Miller November 14, 2024
Masterpiece from start to finish. I became deeply invested in the protagonist's journey. A masterclass in storytelling. I am now a lifelong fan of this author.
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William Allen August 12, 2025
A decent, if standard, experience. It verged on repetitive in the second act. A more concise edit would have served it well. Perhaps more aligned with a different audience's tastes.
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Nancy Miller August 24, 2024
An acceptable diversion. The prose was competent, yet the characters lacked the depth I usually seek. Unlikely to reread, but a reasonable expenditure of time.
Carol Rodriguez
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A profoundly satisfying read. The prose is exquisite. It’s accessible yet undeniably sophisticated. A true literary gem.
Joshua Hall
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Exceeded all my expectations. I adored how the story unfolded. It kept me captivated without sacrificing elegance. A true literary gem.
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Honestly one of the most premium reading experiences lately. The author orchestrated a breathtaking finale. Truly a work of art. An absolute must-read for connoisseurs of the genre.
Barbara Walker
Barbara Walker February 12, 2025
I find myself somewhat conflicted. It possessed moments of brilliance, but the narrative felt slightly disjointed ultimately. Suitable if your reading queue is empty.
Jacob Harris
Jacob Harris August 21, 2024
A decent, if standard, experience. The tempo was somewhat languid, and I found my mind wandering. Not poor, simply average. A fair 3 stars.
Kevin Johnson
Kevin Johnson August 10, 2025
A profoundly satisfying read. I adored how the story unfolded. It kept me captivated without sacrificing elegance. Worth every moment spent reading.
Matthew Torres
Matthew Torres June 05, 2024
Excellent, though slightly flawed. A brilliant concept executed with flair. Just a few pacing choices I would change. A very distinguished novel.
William Wright
William Wright November 14, 2024
A highly sophisticated read. The middle had a deliberate pace, but the climax was phenomenal. Quite impressive overall.
Jacob Thomas
Jacob Thomas January 05, 2025
Honestly one of the most premium reading experiences lately. I adored how the story unfolded. It kept me captivated without sacrificing elegance. An absolute must-read for connoisseurs of the genre.
Laura Phillips
Laura Phillips January 27, 2025
Excellent, though slightly flawed. The protagonist was compelling, though some subplots felt slightly overshadowed. A solid 4 stars from me.
George Adams
George Adams October 27, 2024
I was completely blown away. The author orchestrated a breathtaking finale. Truly a work of art. I am now a lifelong fan of this author.
Jessica Miller
Jessica Miller September 29, 2024
I was completely blown away. The prose is exquisite. It’s accessible yet undeniably sophisticated. An absolute must-read for connoisseurs of the genre.
Andrew Baker
Andrew Baker September 25, 2025
A profoundly satisfying read. The author orchestrated a breathtaking finale. Truly a work of art. I am now a lifelong fan of this author.
Jennifer Diaz
Jennifer Diaz October 19, 2025
I thoroughly enjoyed the elegance of it. Beautiful writing, though I craved slightly more depth in the lore. Still, undeniably engaging. I would highly recommend this to discerning readers.
George Robinson
George Robinson September 09, 2025
I thoroughly enjoyed the elegance of it. It held my rapt attention, even when certain twists were telegraphed. Quite impressive overall.
Lisa Williams
Lisa Williams August 09, 2024
A profoundly satisfying read. I adored how the story unfolded. It kept me captivated without sacrificing elegance. I will undoubtedly revisit this masterpiece.
Steven Lewis
Steven Lewis February 08, 2024
Absolutely brilliant. The author orchestrated a breathtaking finale. Truly a work of art. A true literary gem.
Michelle Carter
Michelle Carter July 26, 2025
I was completely blown away. The pacing was impeccable and the characters felt incredibly authentic. I was completely immersed. I am now a lifelong fan of this author.
Carol Roberts
Carol Roberts May 03, 2025
Masterpiece from start to finish. It strikes a perfect harmony of dialogue and world-building. Every chapter felt necessary. A true literary gem.
Donald Turner
Donald Turner January 27, 2024
Took a moment to build, but the payoff was spectacular. The protagonist was compelling, though some subplots felt slightly overshadowed. A very distinguished novel.
Margaret Phillips
Margaret Phillips February 10, 2024
I was completely blown away. The author orchestrated a breathtaking finale. Truly a work of art. Worth every moment spent reading.
Stephanie Smith
Stephanie Smith June 27, 2025
Such a rich narrative. It strikes a perfect harmony of dialogue and world-building. Every chapter felt necessary. An effortless 5 stars.
Betty Clark
Betty Clark December 24, 2025
Took a moment to build, but the payoff was spectacular. Beautiful writing, though I craved slightly more depth in the lore. Still, undeniably engaging. A very distinguished novel.
William Baker
William Baker October 19, 2024
Excellent, though slightly flawed. Beautiful writing, though I craved slightly more depth in the lore. Still, undeniably engaging. Quite impressive overall.
Donna Anderson
Donna Anderson January 01, 2025
A profoundly satisfying read. I became deeply invested in the protagonist's journey. A masterclass in storytelling. A true literary gem.
Eric Cruz
Eric Cruz June 27, 2025
A highly sophisticated read. It held my rapt attention, even when certain twists were telegraphed. Quite impressive overall.
Richard Walker
Richard Walker September 23, 2024
Took a moment to build, but the payoff was spectacular. Beautiful writing, though I craved slightly more depth in the lore. Still, undeniably engaging. A very distinguished novel.
Joshua Martin
Joshua Martin May 20, 2025
A highly sophisticated read. A brilliant concept executed with flair. Just a few pacing choices I would change. A solid 4 stars from me.
Margaret Lopez
Margaret Lopez September 09, 2024
Took a moment to build, but the payoff was spectacular. A brilliant concept executed with flair. Just a few pacing choices I would change. A wonderful companion for a quiet weekend.
Paul Reyes
Paul Reyes August 02, 2024
A very strong entry. It held my rapt attention, even when certain twists were telegraphed. I would highly recommend this to discerning readers.
Donald  Davis
Donald Davis October 05, 2025
I was completely blown away. It strikes a perfect harmony of dialogue and world-building. Every chapter felt necessary. Worth every moment spent reading.
Kimberly Nelson
Kimberly Nelson February 05, 2024
An acceptable diversion. The tempo was somewhat languid, and I found my mind wandering. Not poor, simply average. Suitable if your reading queue is empty.
Jennifer Collins
Jennifer Collins March 22, 2025
I thoroughly enjoyed the elegance of it. A brilliant concept executed with flair. Just a few pacing choices I would change. A very distinguished novel.
Barbara Reyes
Barbara Reyes September 15, 2024
A profoundly satisfying read. I became deeply invested in the protagonist's journey. A masterclass in storytelling. An absolute must-read for connoisseurs of the genre.
George Thomas
George Thomas February 03, 2025
Excellent, though slightly flawed. It held my rapt attention, even when certain twists were telegraphed. A solid 4 stars from me.
Robert Gomez
Robert Gomez July 09, 2025
Such a rich narrative. The prose is exquisite. It’s accessible yet undeniably sophisticated. An effortless 5 stars.
Brian Moore
Brian Moore November 11, 2024
I thoroughly enjoyed the elegance of it. A brilliant concept executed with flair. Just a few pacing choices I would change. Quite impressive overall.
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